5 Illusions That Can Lead You Straight Into an Affair


NOTE: This article is an excerpt from The Solomon Seduction: What You Can Learn From the Wisest Fool in the Bible by Pastor Mark Atteberry.

King Solomon is known for many things, but let’s not kid ourselves; it’s the women that blow our minds.

The man had a mindboggling 700 wives and 300 concubines. I’m pretty sure that no one who reads this article is ever going to have a thousand wives and mistresses, but many will be tangled up in an illicit romantic relationship, or at least heading in that direction.

Consider these five illusions and take them as a dire warning. They are at the heart of every church leader’s descent into sexual sin.

Illusion #1: That which seems harmless is actually dangerous.

What seems harmless?


Married people do it all the time, sometimes with body language, sometimes with seemingly casual, yet not-so-innocent touches, sometimes with suggestive comments and sometimes with just a look.

Challenge a flirtatious person and you’ll likely be laughed out of the room. And yet, every illicit sexual affair in the history of the world started with flirting.

I can’t think of anything a person can do that has more danger wrapped up in it than flirting with someone who is “off limits.”

Illusion #2: That which seems perfect is deeply flawed.

What seems perfect?

The other woman, of course.

Your wife rolls her eyes at your jokes, while the other woman practically falls down laughing.

Your wife obsesses over the kids and the bills and the laundry, while the other woman is only interested in you.

Your wife wears frumpy clothes, while the other woman is always dressed to the nines and smells like a field of lilacs.

But it’s all an illusion.

If the other woman was really perfect, she wouldn’t be having an affair with a married man.

Plus the fact that she, too, has bills and laundry and bad breath and frumpy clothes and a temper and a lot of other things she’s being careful to hide from you.

Illusion #3: That which excites you actually deadens you.

What excites you?

Your fantasies.

The biggest part of an illicit relationship is played out between your ears. This is especially true in the flirting stage. Before the sneaking around and the sex begin, your mind is a tornado of possibilities. A suggestive comment is made, and suddenly your heart kicks up about 10 beats per minute as you ponder all sorts of delicious scenarios.

I’ve heard men in the middle of this experience say, “I’ve never felt more alive!”

The truth is, they’ve never been more dead.

Proverbs 21:16 says it best: “The person who strays from common sense will end up in the company of the dead.”

You’ll be dead to the truth about the relationship.

Dead to the reality of your spiritual condition.

Dead to the trouble you’re making for yourself.

Dead to the damage you’re doing to your loved ones.

Dead to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

Not surprisingly, I hear a lot of repentant adulterers talk about their past affairs in terms that sound as though they could be talking about death:

“I went brain dead.”

“I lost touch with reality.”

“I was really out of it.”

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SOURCE: ChurchLeaders.com
Mark Atteberry is the award-winning author of eleven books. He has been the preaching minister of Poinciana Christian Church in Kissimmee, Florida since 1989. A popular speaker, he has preached and led workshops at countless churches, conferences, colleges, and retreats. He is married to Marilyn, his high school sweetheart. Visit Mark at http://www.markatteberry.net/

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