R. York Moore is an author and serves as National Evangelist and National Director for Catalytic Partnerships for InterVarsity USA. York is a convener of leaders for evangelism and missions in America, and a founder of the Every Campus initiative.
I was a newly married man when I first heard the phrase ‘The Five Love Languages.’
The concept put so much into perspective for me, both for myself and for my understanding of how to love my wife. I’m grateful that I encountered Dr. Gary Chapman’s simple little test that has helped me to see why I need ‘words of affirmation’ in order to feel loved. I understand that my words of affirmation to my wife, however, fall flat and that she doesn’t feel love from me in the same way I do.
My wife feels my love when I share ‘acts of service’ with her and my son through ‘quality time’ and my daughters through ‘gifts,’ (of course!). The point is that we all need love—we crave it—but we experience it deep in our souls through different ways. Dr. Chapman has helped the world understand this through a simple and powerful construct—the Five Love Languages!
I believe that there is an associated concept to the Five Love Languages that can be equally powerful when it comes to helping people experience God’s love. God, in fact, is fluent in our love language and is striving to make himself known to us in a way that is radically oriented around our deepest soul longing.
I believe that every single one of us has a love language and that God speaks it to us in a way that we can understand. In many ways, we cry out to God through our love language with what I call our ‘Heart Hope.’
A Heart Hope is a specific type of longing that is associated with our love language. It is the question behind the question, the drive that fuels our lives and, as you probably guessed, there are five of them!
I believe these Five Heart Hopes drive us and our spiritual journey over the course of our lives. As I describe the Five Heart Hopes, try to figure out what your own as you read the description (Hint: knowing your Love Language will be a helpful key. If you haven’t taken the free test, you can do so here).
I Am Seen: People who experience love through ‘words of affirmation’ are crying out to be seen. They want to know that what they do and who they are isn’t going unnoticed. Being seen is a powerful experience.
Think back to when you were a child learning to do something for the first time—perhaps bravely jumping off a diving board or doing your first cartwheel. The words are palpable, “Daddy, watch me!”
There is something deep within us that longs to be seen, to know that we are not invisible and that someone cares enough to see us. I believe people with the love language ‘words of affirmation’ are crying out to be noticed. As this is my primary love language, I can tell you with all assurance that my Heart Hope is to be noticed, to be loved by being seen and recognized.
I Matter: People who experience love through ‘acts of service’ are crying out to know that they matter. They want to know that they are having an impact and making a difference, regardless of whether they are ever known for it or seen doing it. This is very unlike people like me who need to be seen.
The Heart Hope ‘I Matter’ drives us to ask over and over questions like “What’s the point?” “What kind of legacy am I leaving?” “Am I having an impact?” There is something deep within us that strives to make a true difference and people with the love language ‘acts of service’ cry out to know that their lives and actions matter.
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Source: Christianity Today