Am I busy?
I’m a wife, author, blogger, and homeschooling mom to four girls. Yep, you read that right … four girls.
It’s a sibling quartet that elicits unsolicited remarks everywhere I go. Sometimes about teen angst, other times on the increasing expense of weddings, and I even get my share of Little Women comparisons. If you’d like, from here on out, you can just call me “Marmee.”
My two oldest daughters are nineteen months apart and both in their tweens. Some days the emotional rollercoasters that race through our house leave us all either crying or wanting to. Well, except my husband Ted. I think he’s mostly just confused by it all.
Third in line is my strong-willed, out-of-the-box thinking, nonconformist first grader. The one who occasionally completes her homework in invisible ink. The good news is that at least she provides me with a black light so I can grade it.
And the last in my Fab Four? Well, she just transitioned from the hard-on-Mommy three’s to the sassy, know-it-all fours.
(Are you praying for me yet? If not, please do.)
Emotional rollercoasters and all, I love my girls dearly. Each of them has a unique, God-given personality with individual strengths and weaknesses. As their mom, I’m excited to watch how the Lord is using and will continue to use the ways He’s hard-wired them for His glory.
But they aren’t arrows ready to be sent out yet.
Right now, I’m still in the daily trenches of training them. The trenches filled with temperamental rollercoasters, invisible ink, and sass. And it’s serious business. It takes a lot of physical, mental, and emotional energy to, as Proverbs 22:6 says, “train up a child in the way he [or in my case, ‘she’] should go.”
That’s why judgment was the last thing on my tongue when I recently read an article titled, “I’m 99% Mother and 1% Wife – And It Has to Be That Way.” You see, as a fellow mom, I understood this mom’s point: parenting is exhausting and time consuming. It is. I get it. I bet you do too.
Here’s the thing, though: No matter how exhausting or demanding parenting may be for me, my husband and our marriage will always come before my kids. Always.
What does that mean exactly?
It means that to me Ted is #1 (after God, of course), not #5 (after four kids). I will always make time for him and the growing of our relationship. No matter how demanding parenting may be, I will never tell him, “I don’t have time for you” or “the kids are my highest priority.” Not with my words, my attitudes, or my actions.
Does this mean I’ll neglect our kids and their emotional and physical needs? Absolutely not. Sometimes the time I devote to Ted and our marriage may have to come after I refill our four-year-old’s cup with milk or after I comfort the bruised feelings of a six-year-old left out by her sisters or even after all the kids are in bed. But time for him and our marriage will always come consistently.
Here are three reasons why I’m 49% mother and 51% wife and why it has to be that way.
Click here to read more.